How To Help Someone With Anxiety - 4 Simple Tips For Loved-Ones
If you are struggling with anxiety, and really any other mental health issues in general, not only are you learning to manage it on your own, but the responsibility to teach others how to help has been unfairly thrust upon you as well. This would be overwhelming for anyone to deal with, and is the reason I wanted to put together this simple resource to take some of that burden away.
For those of you who are going through the trenches with your anxiety, this is a resource you can send to your loved ones. And for the friends and loved ones coming across these words, here are 4 simple tips to help you help them.
1) Let them know they are not a burden
When someone is struggling with anxiety, it can feel as though they no longer have control over their thoughts, emotions or behaviors. Every decision feels as though it stems from a place of desperation. This can be an extremely isolating experience, made even worse when friends and loved ones express frustration with them. With such a deep desire for connection to others, anxiety can make us believe that we are alone in the struggle and that no one around us would ever truly want to hear about the inner workings of our mind. Simply reminding them every now and again that they are appreciated, that they are not the anxiety which plagues them, and how you are always there for them can really go a long way in supporting them.
2) Have an open conversation
Start a conversation about how you can best help them when they are feeling anxious. Doing this in the moment of anxiety can just add to the overwhelm and frustration, so try having this conversation when you both are in a good headspace. Doing so can promote a healthy dialogue about their experience and how you can best support them. Here are some questions you may want to ask:
What triggers your anxiety? It is entirely possible that they may not know why they feel so anxious. Anxiety is even more uncomfortable and frightening when we don't know why we are experiencing this fear response. Asking this question helps them to identify their triggers while also helping you to understand when they will need the most support.
What helps you to feel calm and safe? Simply asking this question gives them an opportunity to review what has helped them in the past. You can even work together to write these down so they have an action plan for the next time they feel anxious.
How can I best support you when you are feeling anxious? They likely already know what is not helpful, and while this can act as a starting point, try working together to come up with some behaviors you can engage in to assist them when their anxiety is heightened. Do they need a hug? Would they prefer to be left alone? Does it help them to talk about their anxiety? It may take some trial and error attempts, but together you can figure out what works the best.
3) Do Your Research
I know it can be challenging to truly understand someone with an anxious mind when you haven't experienced this type of inner turmoil before. Simply doing a quick google search lets them know that you really do care. Plus that info will give you a glimpse into what anxiety is actually like so you have a better understanding as you go into collaborative conversations about what will help them.
4) Practice Empathy
It's easy to become frustrated with anxious loved ones when we view their behaviors as a personal attack. For instance, if our partner struggles with separation anxiety and calls or texts multiple times when we don't respond in our typical fashion, it may be our first instinct to think: "They are being so clingy! Don't they trust me?". More than likely though, our partner is calling and texting multiple times out of love and out of fear. Perhaps their brain is telling them that something bad must have happened to us and so they are desperately reaching out to hear our voice so they know we're okay. Practicing empathy and really trying to understand the "why" behind their behavior will decrease our own frustration, it will help us to best support them and it will facilitate helpful communication.
If you or your loved one is ready to take the next step in finding freedom from anxiety, follow the link below to learn more about anxiety counseling at Cedar Rose
