Summertime & Social Anxiety
Summer has arrived, which means BBQ’s, weddings, family gatherings and other enticing summer activities have probably already been placed on your calendar. While these events sound like they could be a lot of fun, why is it that just the thought of them makes your heart race and you want to find an immediate excuse to not attend?
According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, roughly 7% of the U.S. population is affected by Social Anxiety Disorder. This equates to about 15 million adults who are experiencing heightened anxiety levels while in the presence of others, or even while they are simply thinking about social interactions and events. As with many types of anxiety, the fears associated with Social Anxiety Disorder have a tendency to make you believe you are the only one faced with these particular challenges. However, contrary to what your thoughts might be telling you, these statistics show that you are certainly not alone in the struggle.
So, What Is Social Anxiety?
…and how do you know if you struggle with it? Here are some common symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder:
Fear of rejection by others
Fear experienced before, during and after social interactions
Worry associated with how others may perceive/ judge you
Difficulty being present due to worried thoughts
Creating or playing out social interactions in your mind to “prepare for them”
Desire to avoid social interactions due to the discomfort
Fear of doing something embarrassing
The usual physical discomfort of anxiety (racing heart, upset stomach, sweating, etc.)
Where Does Social Anxiety Disorder Come From?
Social Anxiety, much like Generalized Anxiety, stems from your body’s innate drive to protect you. If we were to take a little field trip back in time to observe our ancestors, you’d notice that they lived in groups as this provided protection for themselves and for their children. For them, fitting in with the group was quite literally a life and death situation since living on their own made them much more vulnerable to predators, famine and harsh conditions. It made sense for them to experience fear similar to Social Anxiety since acceptance by others was equated with survival.
This protective drive to be accepted by others still remains within us today, however, our environment, interactions, and the consequences to social rejection differ quite greatly. If we were to be rejected by one particular group in today’s society, this is not as much a physical threat to our safety as it was back then. In fact, we are surrounding by so many different groups of people today, that if we did experience social rejection by one group, it’s likely we can find another one which will be a better fit for us. The trouble we experience is that our protective response remains the same, regardless of if we are actually in true physical danger or not. And since we now have full access to the highlight reels of other’s lives (thanks social media), our tendency to compare and worry rarely catch a break. This leaves us in a near-consistent state of fear and protection, unless we learn how to manage this type of anxiety.
Helpful Tips For Social Anxiety Disorder
One sure-fire way to begin overcoming social anxiety (while finding lasting relief) comes in the form of exposure therapy. Exposure Therapy (ie. intentionally exposing ourselves to our fears in a safe and controlled way) works because our brain’s fear center learns through experiences. This means that if we can
1) Identify our fear
2) Engage with our fear in a safe way
&
3) Acknowledge that we survived that feared event
Our brain will begin to learn that we actually don’t have to fear that particular situation as much as we initially thought. This means that over time, as we continue this practice, our brain’s fear center will lower our protective response to that feared situation (ie. we experience less anxiety)
A practical and therapeutic way you can lead yourself through this type of strategy is something called a Behavioral Experiment. This free handout will help you get started.
